Ben Willoughby's Blog: Characters

Showing posts with label Characters. Show all posts

Monday, May 18, 2015

Writing Characters with Depression

A character in Gods on the Mountain has at least three episodes of great depression described in the book, one of which is in a flashback. These happen after three separate incidents, including the death of a friend. When I say he gets depressed, I mean he gets depressed hard. He shuts down. He's unable to do anything. He wallows in misery. All self-confidence is zapped out of him. He sees his talents and his worth as being lower than dirt. Even though he's nominally one of the heroes, he doesn't see himself as a hero, and he doesn't bear any of the cockiness so prevalent in many fantasy or science fiction heroes.

I based this largely off of my own experiences with severe depression.

Let me clarify that I'm not describing bipolar disorder, which is something else entirely, and which I've been told I don't have. There are other (non-genetic) reasons for my habit of depression which I can't go into here without turning it into a whiny sympathy-fishing-fest. Suffice to say, there are factors from my history that lead me to get the way I often do, but with the help of my selfless wife and supportive friends, I've been steadily recovering and trying to manage it. However, it's something still very real that I struggle with every now and then.

Is there anybody out there...?

When I try to articulate how I feel in such depressive episodes, I find it's a difficult condition to try to explain for others, because it's more than being "bummed out." Telling a person to "man up" in such a situation won't work. What's more, it's not possible to simply come out and say, "Yeah, I'm feeling down, and here's why." It's like your body just shuts down, mentally and emotionally. Whatever accomplishments you've made that day feel like nothing. It's like writing a 50,000 WIP in one day, only to have your computer crash with nothing saved - everything you've done, according to your depressed mentality, suddenly has no meaning. That's what it feels like.

I had one such episode this week, when during the evening I got into an argument with a friend. Without giving too much away, I said something poorly worded, and as a result they felt insulted and shut down the conversation. I felt bad because my intent wasn't to be mean or insult anyone, especially a friend. I didn't have anything else to say to the person, because my mind literally locked up, and I didn't know what to say. The guilt became stronger. I realized I couldn't get any sleep. I think I only got about two hours of sleep that night. Worst yet, I was struggling with myself on the inside, saying, "Just apologize," or, "Stand up for yourself." Part of me said, "This is stupid. You have bigger things to worry about. Move on with life." Even these internal voices fell on deaf ears. I'm writing all this as just as an example of how difficult depression can be for those who struggle with it.

When I wrote the depression scenes with the character mentioned before, I didn't just leave him depressed. There's a way out. Things happen that lift his spirits. I tried to show that there are ways out of depression, and we don't need to see it as the end. It's not the same for everyone, and for many it's harder than others. My hope is that it's carried across well in the story itself.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Expanding a Character's Role: Or, How My Wife Influences My Writing

In Gods on the Mountain, there's a character known as Celia, who works as a tavern girl in the desolate city of Dubris. Without giving too much away, she eventually becomes the love muse, and romantic interest, of another character. Originally, she had a much more minor role. In fact, I don't think I even named her. She was simply going to be a brief source of temptation for the protagonist to want to quit the mission and stay in the city, only to continue on out of a sense of duty.

Then I started reading the incomplete first draft to my wife. You must understand that my wife is a hopeless romantic, and believes if a character deserves true love, they should receive it. In this situation, she started wanting me to write that Celia and the protagonist ended up together. I fought with the idea in my head, trying to think if I could make it work, or if it would be worth the long-term character development. Eventually, I decided to go forward with it, and started writing with this in mind. By the end, Celia became a character who will more than likely pop up in any sequels.

Herein lies the importance of beta readers, and why they can be helpful in catching things you don't. Two of my beta readers complained that the relationship between Celia and the protagonist, after they first part ways, felt disjointed. One said that it felt like they were separated lovers, when their first contact was awkward and brief. I had to laugh at this, because Celia was, after all, written as a character who wasn't supposed to be relevant to the story, hence the disjointed feeling. I went back and rewrote the scene between her and the protagonist, making it longer, more fleshed out, and with a more developed bond between them. I sent the rewritten scenes to the beta readers, and they both agreed it was an improvement.

This entire episode was an example of how an author should be flexible with how he sees characters progressing in a story, and whether or not there's room for change. It's also a fine example of why you should reread and review your work if you make any serious changes to the story.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

10 Favorite Screen Characters

I got tagged by CL Schneider to do a "10 Favorite Screen Characters" blog hop. Basically, list ten of your favorite characters from a movie or TV show. I'll put the people I tag on the Tweet for this post.

Now let's get down to it...in no particular order...

The Third Doctor (Original Doctor Who series)